Not myself

 and I honestly haven't been for a few days. I've been trying to pretend to be so for a while, but I've had no luck. Today is worse. I couldn't get out of bed this morning. Its a good thing Dani's Mon/Wed class was canceled or I don't know what I would have done with my cubs. Finally, I got up and put the living room in order and then I took a long almost 30 minute shower. That made me feel a little better. But I am still not me. I don't know what to do. Today I barely made it to Group- mostly because I kept procrastinating. Group didn't help, the theme today was "taking care of oneself"-but I did take solace knowing that everyone in Group was having a awful day.  I can't pinpoint what is wrong. I know that I am worried about work- we haven't been making a profit for the past two months. So,  money is an issue -but just part of it. The other is that I start school in March and who will 
take care of my cubs for me? Especially since I don't trust anyone  I don't know what the rest of it is, but I can't sleep- flashbacks. And I can't get motivated to start or finish any of my projects. The ITE3 just started and I thought that that would get me out of my slup, but it hasn't. I like my partners and I have an idea of the colors I am going to use and the shape of the purse I want - not how I am going to incorporate those colors, but that doesn't matter because I still don't have the yarn.
I don't know how to describe what I am feeling and what makes it worse is that Dani is getting very frustrated with me. He thinks that I am purposly not telling him something. He doesn't understand that emotionally my devolopment and consecuently vocabulary is not as mature as it should be. I think I'm just a little older than Daniel in that area- I know what "no" means and I know how to share-LOL-. I know that I am depressed and unmotivated, but I don't know how to name the rest of what I feel. I need a thesarus and a dictionary-LOL.